An excerpt from my conversation with a friend on whether sex or no sex in a relationship.
Now here is my opinion:
It's your choice to OR not to. It's takes reason and discipline to respect another persons decision on it, no matter what you tell me I will have to respect your decision but I need to know why so that it will be my leverage.
Abstinence is key! True
But that's not my perspective of discuss. I am saying that I need logical and cogent reasons. For example: if you tell you want to keep it for your husband! Do you know my reply to that? We shouldn't be dating because if you ask me if I would marry you the answer is I don't know. So it's going to be a waste of time being with you when I know it's not going to lead to a bigger picture. You are already telling me we are just having fun and being in a relationship doesn't count on important things
If you tell me because you think or being told it's an abomination or according to the Bible it's fornication and its sin. I am going to quiz your beliefs, I am going to try to understand your perspective of God, the Bible and doctrine. I need to know that it's your own personal convictions and not something a self righteous individual told you. I will rattle your mind to understand your concept of the human as a being... If you can convince me beyond doubts, I will forever respect you.
If you tell me because your sexual virginity is your self worth or pride, I am so going to be pissed. Because you have succeed in being in a fix where you think you will have a good life because you are a virgin. It is not a guarantee. Self worth comes from defining your life. Does that relates to sexual virginity? Put value in your virginity because its your choice and not because it is your leverage to self worth and pride.
If you tell me you are keeping it because sexual intercourse leads to breaking of the hymen which leads to a relation with another realm of you and your partner involved. Then I am going to tell you that is the biggest fallacy that has held waters. I can go on and on about this but I hope all this makes sense.
Like I said I will respect your decision. If I love you because of some sexual attraction then the relationship won't hold. If I love for some other reasons and sex is just an addition Then I will consider otherwise.
written by Njoku Onuabuchi Charles